the worst has happened

romantic love is like a mental illness, although an enjoyable one.

i'd rather find meaning. he'd rather find bliss.

god bless the dj

i sleep better now. excited about dat. junior now. a little cited. taken now. eh.

everything changes so fast. a hundred years of happiness can be erased in a single second but it's worth it.

i wish i could float higher than everything for a bit. i hope i will one day know what the fuck was really going on this whole time.

"i think after you die is like before you were born."

murs/slug/aesop

there isnt much as unsatisfying as the blind man listening believening the one thats lying

what could you possibly know about how the world works?

this is a small thing & it's probably boring for you, but it would have been nice if you'd made an effort to know vic.

who's vic?

my son.

oh, victor? i didn't recognize the diminutive.

.

.

you won't acknowledge your own shit. & you were fucked up all the time

.

.

it's kind of trite, but it stuck with me

ha, this one's about alcohol too

i'm so sleep deprived i'm hearing shit. music sounds slower.

thoughts scattered all across the gray matter.

doesn't want to understand why you still come around.

just an eleven letter word.

never sick of listening to yourr problems.

second day in a row ivebeen on the phone with you while the sun rose.

life is better with a poor memory.

ray opens in 1/2 hr.

sprinkles of dopeness dispersed.

i don't care if you know me or you hate me.

what you got to say is irrelevant if you're just talking for the hell of it. i smell some shit, check your soul.

------ remember that time that i made you so mad?

in extra love

i keep on running keep on running & nothing works i can't get away from you i can't stop missing you

raaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh

"Keep my heart
Somewhere drugs don't go
Where the sunshine slows
Always keep me close"

nothing really comes as a surprise right now

cause we having the time of our lives right now

surprisingly unaffected

something i will never admit out loud: i think about you most of the day. when i have a moment for my mind to wander, youre usually the first place it goes. i can't wait until the day that stops. but i know it won't for a while & for now i just have to think of a way that this can benefit me.

i already know i'm not going to sleep tonight. checkkya later

WAYNE

"I’m not an example for how people should live their lives. Never in my life would I ever set out to be an example for people on how to live their lives. If you need an example for how to live, then you just shouldn’t have been born. Straight up. I am a great role model, because I’m only a role model for two, and that’s all. That’s what matters to me - those two. So why don’t you worry about yours, and let them worry about theirs? I got mine."

As much as I hate myself, I hate you more
But I still smile when you come through that door
And as much as I hate my life, I hate yours too
Just can't seem to teach myself to ignore you
This is for the men*, not every man*
Just the ones that drive me crazy, the ones that scream SAVE ME
I wanna thank you all for everything you gave me
Now lean in and taste me

good day good sir

early morning skype sesh with my women

coffee already made when i awake

studying for poetry in bed

texting

outkast / big sean

baked doritos

my life is awesome

when the door shut i felt like the last person on earth

it's 409 it's storming & i'm wide awake. i can only hear the birds the thunder and 8tracks.com.

highlights from the past 5 hours:

Bleed Slow - Atmosphere

15 minutes - Deadmau5

Beba - PANTyRAiD

Avratz - Infected Mushroom

Ice Cold - I Self Divine

Young Folks - Yeezy

i could smoke myself to sleep but i might just stay awake & listen to the dark.

dear adderall,

are you mad at me? there is so much i need to do with you right now, but instead i'm wasting the precious time i have with you on fb & blogger... i have to write a 2 page presentation on skakespeare. i used to do my best work with you, and i am feeling abandoned. it's cinco de mayo & i chose YOU OVER MARGARITAS. how do you not understand how big of a deal that is? i even made coffee... i know how much you love that. now return the favor. let's sling some bullshit like old times. i love you to the moon & back. i hope you haven't forgotten how we used to be.

-sars

can't sleep. can't miss a man like i can't miss court dates

what sucks is that i know exactly what i'm doing but i can't help myself.

acutely aware that it's self-destructing; different in nature but in principle the same.

get what i want, ride the high for seconds/minutes/hours/days/weeks/months/wishicouldn'tsayyears at a time

i know(knew, will know) exactly the way he will make me feel. it's a very specific feeling, but it can't be what i'm chasing.

it's that euphoria. that smile. it's everyone you know telling you not to, not him. it's that taste. it's the mess i made(am making, will make) with him.

the rarest of all human qualities is consistency

is it possible for a man to move the earth?

yes; but he must find another earth to stand upon.

B E N T H A M

every word!

baby i can break you down // i might tear you apart

vs

e.e. cummings

l(a

le

af

fa

ll

s)

one

l

iness

i'm sleeping beauty not fucking cinderella

she decided to free herself, dance into the wind, create a new language. and birds fluttered around her, writing 'yes' in the sky.

we do what we want, you do what you can

& you wonder why we don't give a fuck

i wonder what's going to happen

i wonder how much you know

i wonder what you think you know

but you have no idea

weird, over it, & drunk

f o r e v e r y o u n g

Remember when I came over & she left, we laid(lay) in bed together & just napped. For hours. I curled my hair for you. I wore my favorite sexybutnotslutty top for you. I barely knew you. But I was comfortable enough to fall asleep with you. I fell right away. We had just met. We just laid(lay) there & our bodies barely touched. What were we both doing there? It was the middle of the day. You thought I was asleep & I could feel you touching my hair. That is when I knew I liked you. I rarely fall in like. When it happens I remember. Sometimes I wish it had never happened. Most of the time I’m glad it did. Such a stupid story: pointless, not worthy of real writing. Just had to be put down. For later. for never.

love the things that hate us

i'm just a little happymess(:

only upset when im crashing

loving springtime chi

ever wonder what your friendsfamily say about you to their therapists?

marginally talented at a lot of things

just lay in bed & don't move

"for me the hardest thing is to 'just' agree & that is what sparks creativity, the feeling that something can be better, the feeling that something's missing, the feeling that something's needed."

got a blank space where my mind should be

SUNSHINE (:

until thursday i will be sitting in the library reading The Beautiful & Damned. okthen byenow.

"all i want is to be shiny, so ill be walking to the sun if you want to find me."

i'm not interested in anything i have to make myself

i dont know how i got so blasted off of half a bar. & 2 bowls. && champagne (:what can i say i can't seem to put influences down

kate moss sienna miller mary kate olsen

while i respect the fact that youre real about just wanting to fuck, thats not how shit happens with me. my bodys a fucking wonderland ya dig?

peace, fucks

i hate when the bowl's cashed. i hate when my bank account gets below $200. i hate being under the el when its passing. i hate people who talk too much. i hate stains on white shirts. i hate boys who think they're men.

i think i'm dumb, maybe just happy

Hebrew for 'princess'

no whore, that's not love we were fucking.

aspiring sociopath

i'm fairly certain i live one of the best lives

i am a prisoner locked up behind xanax bars

there are so many things i want to do. i'm starting this morning.

wish i could give you this feeling i feel like buying.

'hell is other people'

word

i presumably can describe the movements of faith but i cannot make them - kierkegaard

i can barely concentrate on writing this

asflksjfqIJA

i'm just not that into you

influences are my boyfriend. it's getting serious.