can't sleep. can't miss a man like i can't miss court dates

what sucks is that i know exactly what i'm doing but i can't help myself.

acutely aware that it's self-destructing; different in nature but in principle the same.

get what i want, ride the high for seconds/minutes/hours/days/weeks/months/wishicouldn'tsayyears at a time

i know(knew, will know) exactly the way he will make me feel. it's a very specific feeling, but it can't be what i'm chasing.

it's that euphoria. that smile. it's everyone you know telling you not to, not him. it's that taste. it's the mess i made(am making, will make) with him.